Relationships, too, are ready for awareness. By shifting orientation to the purpose and meaning of our relationships, we can enjoy the rapid development and conscious purpose that our “self” has experienced. To start, let’s take a look at intimate relationships, though this view works on all relationships from the postman to your true love to your mother.
When I work with young couples in my coaching practice, I ask them “Why are you together?” What do you think is the most common response? “Because we love each other!” “Great!”, I say, “You’re going to need that! What are you going to do with that love energy? What is it for?” I get some funny looks. A purpose? To relationship? What if there’s more to it than being harnessed to someone to fulfill a cultural prescription for how adulthood or family or life is supposed to look? What if there’s a purpose to our relationships? What if relationships are how we grow ourselves, our societies and expand the cosmos?
Consider this: we are aligned with the Greater Being of our partners, and will do whatever it takes for our partners to have the information and expansion they desire. We will poke and prod and irritate in order to honor that commitment to their expansion, clarity and authenticity. They do the same for us. Before the BIG FLIP, we are always looking for ways to eliminate conflict, communicate more effectively, resolve issues, and get our partners to stop the very thing they have dedicated themselves to doing! After the BIG FLIP, we look for the information or experience that we are yearning for, and thank our partner for the devotion it took for us to get whatever it was. It can sound like “WOW, dude, you really had to work hard for me to get that one! Thanks, I love you!” The BIG FLIP virtually eliminates conflict, because we understand that we are working together on something much bigger than “being in love”. We are creating scenarios just to get to those brilliant insights! We are partnering for expansion, awareness and the complete integration of our BEING!
The BIG FLIP recognizes relationships as People Growing Machines, and enables us to utilize their inherent brilliance. My partner does something that triggers me? Yes! There’s new information for me- expansion and awareness knocking on the door! It can start with “Whoa, I don’t like how this feels.” But the next step is the biggie- instead of wanting my partner to stop and fix whatever just created that feeling in me, I get to look at my response/ feeling and discover the new information that caused it to bubble up! Cool, huh? And yes, sometimes the information that bubbles up is clarity about what you want in a partner and the realization that this particular partner isn’t it. More likely, though, the new information and awareness gives the relationship more juice, and both partners benefit from the expansion.
Want to give this a try? Here are a few steps to set up your relationship for a graceful FLIP:
- Accept that your partner is right, and is working on your behalf whether they are aware of it or not. Sit with that for a few minutes.
- Consider that you have partnered with this person to assist him/her in integrating his/her Being, and enabling access to constant expansion.
- Take a look around you- your complete physical world is set up for your expansion! All your life’s scenarios are opportunities to access greater and grander versions of yourself, and experience them as you access them. You and your partner are supporting each other with it all.
- Consider something that your partner has done or said that felt uncomfortable: Expand to the highest frequency you can reach and look for the precious information in the response you had to the trigger. Something that grows you, informs you, energizes you. An A-HA!! It could be that you realize you had more expertise than you knew, or that you’ve wanted to express yourself more clearly and this event gives you that opportunity. It could be that you really wanted a push to try something new or to raise the level of integrity in your relationship with yourself. Maybe you recently learned something new and wanted an opportunity to try it out experientially for yourself. The possibilities are endless!
- Thank your partner and discuss what you found and how the information enriches your relationship. Don’t be shy about asking your partner to create increasing levels of grace and ease as you both begin to utilize the advantages of the BIG FLIP.
Voila! Nothing to settle, no blaming. Jump right to the celebration and the new agreement together based on this new information. SOOO much more fun than going round and round discussing who did what to whom!
We’re in this together, folks. The design is genius, we just missed the instructions!
Is Relationship coaching right for you? Contact me and we can discuss the possibilities!